Can we just accept that kids are chaos?

Well if you look closely at this picture you will notice that this is nail polish! NAIL POLISH!!!

I hear you laughing because it’s really funny when it’s not your kid…and guess what…

It’s not my kid either, so I’m giggling too!!!

This may look like chaos and a horrible cleanup job, but what I see if a very independent child that was curious enough to try to pain her own finger and toe nails. If you take a second to really consider this situation, you might see:

• curiosity
• wonder
• a risk taker
• determination
• confidence

In a busy world where kids seem to be a source of chaos, we could be missing the boat.

I have a confession to make… I’m going to fess up right here, right now!

I AM THE “NO” MOM! This is no surprise to those of you who know me well. I promise, I am getting better.

But… I worry about my kids being the source of chaos more than I worry about fostering their curiosity. I worry about them getting hurt. I worry about the amount of sugar they eat. I worry about them getting their clothes dirty. I worry about what they wear. I worry about them acting the right way. I worry about what other people think. YIKES!

I’ve been so worried about parenting the “right” way, that I’ve missed the opportunity to just have fun and explore my kids curiosity. And I have to say, that I KNOW OTHER PARENTS AND TEACHERS DO IT TOO!

This past year, with all of the change that our life has brought (moving, being home with the kids, etc.) has been a game changer for me. The change has been for the good, and here is what I’ve realizied…

BEING THE “NO MOM” WILL CAUSE YOU TO MISS THE BOAT ON DEVELOPING YOUR KIDS INTO THE MAKERS AND SHAKERS OF THE WORLD!

Now I know what your thinking, “We can’t just let our kids do whatever they want!” Of course that is true. It is our job to help our kids learn to make smart choices, stay safe, and be respectful.

But why do we say no? When kids are about to pick something up they are curious about, or when they try something new (even if you know it’s not going to work out…lol), or when they go to jump and splash in a mud puddle, dig in the dirt, or play with a worm, why do we say, No!?

When was the last time you used one of the following statements with your kids?

Don’t do that!

You know better.

Don’t get dirty.

Don’t touch anything.

It’s supposed to look like this.

You need to do it this way.

Do you want to watch your children do big things? Do you want to foster learning in the kids who will change the world? Do you want them to know how to explore, discover, and make a difference. I know your answer is yes!

So, how can we be their difference?

We have to stop viewing curiosity in kids as chaos! This video says it all!

5 Ways to STOP Squelching Curiosity

1. Don’t extinguish it!

When your kids are curious about something or about to try something new. Don’t be too quick to say NO. As a parent or teacher we need to take 5 seconds to ask ourselves these two questions:

• Will it hurt anyone?
• Will their action be disrespectful?

If nobody will get hurt and your kids aren’t being disrespectful, then what is the big deal? When we say no, just to say no, kids will stop coming to us to ask. There are times as adults that we worry too much about the chaos our kids may be creating, but if we just face it and realize that this chaos is really curiosity, we will be able to allow our kids to explore and learn so much more.

You see, sitting in a classroom is not the only place that learning happens. It happens in your backyard, on a bike ride, in your kitchen. It happens when your toddler smears lotion all over the bathroom mirror (true story). It happens when a child is curious, and they experiment, and they discover a result. Don’t put out their fire to discover and learn.

2. Do the extra work!

Kids are curious. Kids are messy. Everything is new to them. They are experiencing everything for the first time. So many times parents and teachers interrupt a child’s curious moments because it’s not a priority or they don’t have the time or energy to explore it.

We have to take the time. We have to find the energy. We have to let our kids play, take risks, and explore everything around them. Even when we don’t have time or feel like we have to move on to something else, we have to give our kids the time. We have to just accept the fact that kids curiosity can often times bring chaos.

Let them make the mess! Let them get dirty! Let them spend a little extra time figuring something out, rather than doing it for them (the right way). Do the extra work in order to foster learning through their creativity.

3. Preserve Their Curiosity

preserve: v. – to keep alive or in existence; make lasting

curiosity: n. – the desire to learn or know about anything; inquisitiveness

definitions from www.dictionary.com

We can keep alive or make lasting, the desire to learn or know about things. We can make curiosity lasting for our kids! To do this, we have to let go of what comes so naturally to us as adults. If you, like me, are the “NO” mom, then join me in working to do this better! I have to remind myself daily to stop being so serious, have fun, and quit worrying about everything. Enjoy what our kids explore! We may even learn something too!

Teachers, this is so important to remember in our classrooms. The push for academic rigor has us all stressed. This upcoming year, more than ever we will feel the pressure of catching the kids up to speed. They have all regressed with being away from school. It will be 6 months since the’ve been in the classroom.

Before you rush to get them learning all the standards. STOP! THINK! And ask yourself this…WHAT WILL THEY LEARN THE MOST FROM? Will they learn the most from sitting in a desk, being quiet and listening, drifting off yet expected to regurgitate information? I think you all know the answer to this!

At school or at home, use their curiosity and their innate ability to ask questions, be hands on, and explore! Take extra time to allow this curiosity to foster learning. This way, they will want to come back!

Make them Love the Learning you’ve provided for them so much that they want to come back for more!

4. Initiative, ambition, and curiosity

These 3 things are not taught in schools! Yes, there are amazing schools (I’ve worked in them). Yes, there are teachers that provide opportunities for this. But teaching kids initiative, ambition, and curiosity are often thought of as qualities that kids either have or don’t have. This statement is false!

You can instill these characteristics in your kids both at home and at school! But it takes time. You can do this by focusing on the process that happens when a kid is curious. This goes for any age!

When a kids is curious about something, it will be forgotten if we dismiss it! It is our job as the adults in their life to cultivate and nurture their curiosities. Help them explore and put their focus on the process for learning rather than the outcome. When we do this, we will end up with kids who possess initiative, ambition, and curiosity. These three things are tools for greatness!

5. Praise Them!

Be careful when and how you praise your kids! If we are praising our kids for straight A’s, what is it really teaching them? If schools view students as a vessel that they push learning standards through, test them, and praise them if they get an A, is that what will make a child great? NO!!!!

We need to praise the process! Celebrate when they want to challenge or explore something. Praise them when they come up with a plan. Praise them when they want to create and idea that they have. Praise them for the effort during the process!

If we want to develop kids that turn into adults that change our world and do big things, then we have to change our own mindset on how we handle our children.

I believe that we all want to instill curiosity in kids. But I also believe that we often times we get in the way of allowing curiosity in kids to happen. There is no argument that kids are curious and that this is a good thing.

Our task as parents and teachers is to stop squelching their curiosity. In the video above, Neil deGrosse Tyson claims that we need to just accept that kids are chaos and allow it for the sake of learning through curiosity!

I fessed up! I admit that this is a struggle that I am constantly working toward! I am better at this in the classroom than I am at home. But I am getting better! Who’s with me?

Do me a favor…leave a comment below if you too, are working to let go of trying to get it all done right, but have missed the boat on letting your kids be free to explore their curiosity! Share with us here, tips you have for being the kind of parent or teacher that encourages curiosity in kids.

I got back on the boat and so can you! We can do it at home. And I hope that all my teacher friends can be brave enough to be their difference and do it at school too!

Enjoy Being Their Difference,